A Change of Plans

After a few weeks when nothing seemed to go according to her plans, Jennifer Thomas recounts the ways she is learning to surrender to God’s plan. 

I had big plans

I had big plans this past summer. Not only did they include a healing retreat for me but also a family trip to Boston. I was excited because these trips required traveling by plane and I was going to have the opportunity to not only have time for myself to grow closer to God but also for our family to bond and hopefully strengthen our faith.   

I had plans already in place upon our return. The kids were signed up to participate in a karate camp for a full week and I was looking forward to the opportunity to finally make progress on some personal projects including researching, writing, and gardening. One of my primary goals related to gardening was to create a more colorful space for Mary by adding a couple of rose bushes and a hydrangea bush.   

The week before, I spent hours in the sweltering morning heat pulling weeds and trimming bushes down with the intent to have a clear space to give Mary more color around her in the form of a couple of rose bushes and, eventually, a hydrangea bush. My plans were set, and I was determined to finish all of my projects before the end of summer when my kids and I were to return to school. But then God let me know my plans were not the same as His.  

When my plans went sideways

I woke up one morning with what I thought was a stiff neck from sleeping in an odd position. As the pain worsened, I reached out to my best friend who is also a nurse. After speaking with her, she urged me to go to urgent care. From there, I ended up in the ER and ultimately in the hospital for twelve days, far more than I ever could have anticipated.  

Those first few hours are still a bit of a blur, but the one thing that was clear from the moment I knew I wouldn't be going home that night is that God was looking out for me.   

He was looking out for me when I felt compelled to reach out to my friend. It was like God had silently whispered in my ear, “call her” and, like an obedient daughter, I called. He was looking out for me when the Urgent Care practitioner listened to my symptoms and was concerned enough that she informed me I needed to get to the hospital, even though I didn't have a fever at the time. Again, I heard the faint whisper. “You can't drive.”

I told the nurse and before I knew it I was in an ambulance transporting me to the emergency room. In the ER, I showed no signs of fever until several hours later and ultimately learned I was not only suffering from previously unknown issues with my neck but also two infections, one of which was in my blood.   

None of this was written in the calendar on my phone or in my beloved planner. I didn't have time set aside to be in the hospital, away from my children and husband. I wasn't prepared to miss those last precious few weeks of summer leading up to the beginning of school. I wasn't supposed to feel like I was beholden to a schedule that included arranging my entire day around receiving IV antibiotics every twelve hours. It wasn't part of my plans at all. 

It was all part of God's plan

But it was His plan. It was His plan for me to be in a place in my relationship with Him where I was actually able to hear Him and recognize His voice. It was His plan that not only would I be able to hear Him but that I would listen to Him. It was part of His plan for me to be in the hospital before I became symptomatic for a gnarly infection that could have caused me to become septic. He knew how heavily I would come to rely on the prayers of support and sent people to visit me when I didn't even know I needed to see anyone. It was all part of His plan.  

I don't typically like it when my plans are changed, especially if I haven't been given any sort of heads-up. But this time, it was different. I've been learning to lean into the surrender I felt called to do back at the beginning of this year. God has been asking me to not only surrender to His will and trust Him, but also to accept the idea of not knowing what the future holds while being at peace with it — to be at peace with Him in His care.

For the planner in me, this is hard. But I'm slowly learning that sometimes a change of plans is the best thing that can happen. And for that, I am grateful.